Monday, June 03, 2002

Am I really such a petty person? Yeah, I guess so. I just get so tired of her asking me for things. If she was just going to stop by and chat every day, that would be one thing (well, I still wouldn't like it, I don't think), but she always *wants* something. Could I read this for her? Could I explain this to her? Do I have a jacket she could borrow? Do I have a blank video tape? Can she borrow my car? And I really do feel bad, I know I'm her only friend and I should really just BE NICE, but I'm starting to dread her visits. No, you can't borrow my car because: I've seen you drive, and I don't want to you put a dent in my car; you'll park illegally when you can't find a parking space, and I'll have to go through the hassle of paying the ticket/getting my car un-towed; I don't want to give you my keys because Catherine just replaced the keychain and if you drop it, it will shatter just like the old one and I don't want to give up my hockey keychain that Catherine gave me for just anyone...

I am a petty person. Either that, or she really is taking advantage of me all the time, and I'm justified in my annoyance. I'm just not sure which one is the right assessment of the situation.

My pledge to myself: go to New York on Wednesday, buy a few books, listen to a few good lectures, roll with whatever happens, and just relax for a few days. People can probably feel the tension radiating from me through the walls of my cubicle. I'm looking forward to going away for awhile and just doing something different. I probably owe a thousand apologies to my friends and co-workers for being a complete freak the past couple of weeks.

On the plus side of having nothing to do at work: Rough draft of the novel is done. Still 5000 words short, but the first draft is done, anyway. Now I can start working on my dad's book again.

I guess I am a total bitch, because I just got the following e-mail from Sunny:

Sister, thank you so much today.
I suddenly thought in the business law class that our team didn't discuss
about the video tape, and I didn't bring my car today. But I thought again
that you could help me to get it.
So, I ran into you.
However, I am thinking that you seemed busy that time. I'm so sorry about
I just tried to borrow your car, so I don't want to bother you.
Now I'm thinking is that borrowing your car, even if you are my sister, is
also inappropriate, isn't it?
I prepared everything yesterday about the speech, but one thing I had to
prepare is a video tape.
I guess I'm getting old. :)
But thank you so much, sister.
Have a great day, even if it seemed it is hot weather.

I am such a jerk.

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