Thursday, May 16, 2002

There was a lot more I wanted to write down last night, but I was so tired. I'm surprised I didn't wreck the car last night, I was falling asleep behind the wheel on the way up to Indy, and it only got worse on the way home.

I just wanted to comment on how impressed I am with the way Jenna has been handling her head injury. I mean, look at me, I'm wandering around under a cloud of depression over the possibility of being kept off the ice, and the truth is, I don't care about hockey even 1/2 as much as Jenna does. It's her passion, and it's been taken away from her right when she was really getting somewhere with it. Her work ethic, her talent and love for the game were really taking her places, and now what? If I was her, if I felt half as strongly, I'd probably be hovering on the brink of suicide. She's a lot stronger than I am, and smarter, since she's staying off the ice. She says she still has trouble coming up with words and gets lost in the middle of conversations. I hope she recovers with time. I want to ask her if she ever tells herself she should have stopped playing after the 3rd concussion, but I'm not sure if she wants to talk about it.

It seems particularly brutal for her now that Amy is making a place for herself on the ice, too. I know they thought they'd be playing together for a long time, but I guess that's not going to happen.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic this morning. Dr. Florini said it's definitely my ACL, but she doesn't think it's torn. It's too tight to be torn, she can feel it. She wants me to be conservative for the next week, and if it's still in the same condition after that, it's time for an MRI, physical therapy, whatever. Props to Dr. Florini--it's nice having a doctor who actually remembers what you're doing with your life, and also tries to get you the best care even though your medical file is 10 inches thick. She said she was reluctant to send me to the orthopedic surgeon because she didn't feel they'd been very responsive to my injuries in the past, she'd rather just watch it for a bit and see what happens. And I have to agree. Dr. Eelma was very helpful, but the rest of them completely piss me off, and I don't need to be carrying around any more anger right now.

Everyone was talking about playing in the BUNS league last night, and my competitve nature just really got the best of me, I think. I'm so upset that they are all getting to skate this summer, and I'm barely on the ice at all. I need some quality time before camp, and I'm not sure when I'm going to get that. Once again, the season is going to start and I'm going to be at the back of the pack. I wish I could play BUNS, but it doesn't start until 9:15. Off the ice at 10:30, out of the locker room by 11:00, that means I wouldn't get home until 1:00 a.m. I like hockey, but not that much, and I know very well I'd fall asleep behind the wheel before I even got to Martinsville.

Man, I hope everyone caught the last part of the San Jose/Colorado game last night. That was some awesome hockey. Incredible effort put forth by both sides. Game 7s are so much fun.

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