I am a lousy feminist. Someone should take my membership card away. The first thing I did when I got to the gym was step on the scale.

On the other hand, I'm not as lousy of a feminist as these other two women who were in the Cybex room next to me. They were talking about their friend Beth, and how she didn't work out so much anymore. Now that she's married, she's getting fat, because, you know, those married women don't think they have to work hard to look good anymore, so they just sit around get fat and don't care. I so wanted to turn around and say, "Hey, would you mind giving me Beth's phone number so I can call her and tell her you all suck?"