Tuesday, February 10, 2004

How to tell your under-employed.

Every morning, someone has to make "bags" for day's dough batches. For pizza, this means putting .44 pounds of yeast, 2 cups of sugar, and 2 cups of salt into a plastic bag for every double batch you want to make. For breadstick, you drop the yeast to .26 pounds. If you have to make 58.5 batches, that's a lot of plastic bags. (In case anyone's curious, the bags are mixed in with 100 pounds of flour and 2 cups of corn oil for 30 seconds, then 2x25.65 lbs. of water is added, mixed on low for four minutes, and high for three. Don't spin the bowl backwards, or you'll fuck the whole thing up.)

This morning, I was putting yeast into bags, watching the numbers on the scale fluctuate as the yeast dropped from the measuring cup into the bag when I realized I was seeing acceleration due to gravity RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES. And from there, I realized that I did indeed understand that you could compensate for the loss of gravity in a spaceship if you just accelerated it away from the earth at the proper speed. If you sat a space ship on a scale, and attached a bomb to the scale set to go off if the weight on the scale changed, you could still send the space ship into outer space w/out having to worry about the weight changing as the ship escapes earth's gravitational pull, as long as you accelerated it in the proper fashion.

And then I decided to stop thinking before I got really, really depressed about making pizza dough for a living.

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