Thursday, August 29, 2002

Okay. I'm not going to do this. I am not going to sit and obsess over this, and I'm not going to lose sleep over the fact that all of my siblings are freaks.

Because you know what? It's not the money. I mean, I'm pissed off about it and the incredibly idiotic story you invented about it. If you don't want to send me ten bucks, don't fucking do it, okay? Just don't. End of story. Because you know what else? I may want the money in general, my team needs it, but I don't want it from someone who feels the need invent some story about it all instead of just dealing with me straight up. Is there some reason you can't just send me an e-mail and say "Sorry, not right now," and leave it at that? Do you have to write these incredibly idiotic messages that just add more proof to my argument that you're a nutcase? Don't you realize I'm smart enough to know a lie when I see it, especially when you're not smart enough to check one e-mail against the other to keep from contradicting yourself?

What is it? Are you still freaked out because I'm gay? Is that was this is all about? Because it's time you fucking get over it, okay? Everyone in the family--except possibly that brother I used to have--is over it. Mom and Dad are over it. The whole freaking family is fine, and yet you're still weird. My hope is that you act weird now because you feel ashamed of the way you acted when Catherine and I got married. Since I never got an apology for that atrocity, however, I'm guessing you're acting weird because I'm an affront to your religion and you just can't cope. Well, fuck that noise. I wouldn't let a stranger treat me this way, so I don't see why I should stick around and let you.

10:55 PM

We finally found a contractor, and we spent two hours after work this evening looking at the kitchen and deciding where to go with it. It's just not possible for me to do the kitchen myself, as much as I wanted/intended to do it. At this point, I'm happy to give up the job to someone who can do it better and quicker than I can. At any rate, he gave a quote that almost exactly hit on the amount of money we have to spend on the job, and thought of a lot of things that I would have missed. So, I'm pretty pleased. And I'm looking forward to spending the weekend at Lowe's and elsewhere, pricing this and that.

He had a great solution to the cabinet problem over the stove--we're going to rip out the lame cabinets that are there, put in two 42" cabinets w/glass doors to echo the original cabinets on the other wall, and bump the one forward over the refrigerator. Then he's going to cut the pantry cabinet in half and remove the bottom half. This will leave an open space on the floor, and he's going to tile it and build us a little spot for our garbage can.

He's pretty much got me convinced to put tile on the countertop. I'm not sure, I drop so many things, I'm afraid we'd have no dishes in a week if I was left alone in the kitchen. I definitely want a tile backsplash, but maybe we should get a solid surface counter. Although that would also shatter the dishes. Maybe I had just better stop touching the dishes.

10:15 AM

Well, you know...she's right.
8:58 AM

Catherine commented that I seem much happier this week (she was surprised I wasn't cranky about running her around town to complete her errands this morning, as I am definitely not a morning person). I think she's probably right. Yesterday afternoon, I was focusing all my mental powers on descriptive geometry. At one point, I sat back from the computer feeling completely drained and thought, "I just can't face going back to work, I don't have the energy." Then I remembered I don't have to go back to work!

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