Here's the deal. You are not allowed to comment on my body, period. You are not allowed to tell me I've lost weight, you are not allowed to tell me I've gained weight. You will not comment on my appearance. If you like my shirt, fine, I give you permission to say, "Hey, that's a nice shirt." Beyond that, you must be quiet. In fact, this moratorium shall be extended to include the bodies of all women, everywhere, including yours. I do not want to know how much you weigh, how much weight you want to lose, or how fat you think you are. I am not interested and I never will be. My body is mine and mine alone, it doesn't belong you, it is not open for public discussion. Don't compare your body to mine, don't compare mine to anyone else's. It is simply not allowed.
Damn, I wish I lived in Denver and that I had a legal problem, so I could hire the funniest lawyers on the face of the earth.