I think....sad.

A follow-up to an earlier post: I'm not sure if it's funny or sad that my therapist told me she liked my check design when I paid her today.

But you said!

Mmmm....changing minds, the bane of the graduate student's existence.

I've finished one exam. When I sat back, I thought, "Okay, I think I passed." But just a couple of minutes later, I realized I'd left a big theoretical whole right.....*there*. And then I realized I'd left another one...*over there*. And so on. A friend of mine who is also a faculty member told me that's how all qualifying exams work. She says the point is that I sat in my library carrel and read what I was supposed to read, not that I turned out a perfect exam. There's no second reader for this thing, so I'm going to have to hope the my minor field advisor thinks the same way my friend does.

Anyway.

Looking ahead (definitely not forward to) to the next exam, trying to convince myself it's not just a pointless hazing ritual. Because I really think it is, no matter what anyone else says.

Let's Hope.

Okay. So, I've been completely stressed out about my minor field exam (among other things). I'd talked to my minor field advisor about what to expect generally, and I thought I had a good handle o what the possibilities were for questions. Then, a few weeks ago, she handed me a piece of paper and said, "This is more or less what your exam question will look like." It was nothing like I'd been expecting, and in fact, none of the reading I'd done really addressed the question. That was kind of bad, since I'd JUST THAT DAY finished reading everything from the minor field bibliography.

Anyway, I've been trying not to think about it actively, just let my mind spin with in those hours after 3 a.m. when I can't sleep from anxiety. Today, I finally deliberately let myself think about it, and lo and behold, I think over the past few weeks I've come up with something of an answer when I wasn't really paying attention. Let's just hope she doesn't change her mind in the next 10 days.

1 almost down, 3+1 to go.

Titles, too?

As everyone with internet access knows, Blogger gives their users the option to label entries so faithful readers can sort and search by category. I thought about assigning labels to my own entries, then I realized that everything I write falls under the "How to tell you've fucked up your life" label. Maybe one day I'll branch out into another category, but for now, I'm sure everyone is happy that they don't have to sort through "Work," "Hobbies," or "Family Life" to get to the minutiae of my life.

So, continuing on this theme, here is a new entry to be filed under "How to tell you've fucked up your life." If you're ordering checks, and you choose a background design based on what you think your therapist is going to think about your checks when you pay her every week, well...obviously, you've fucked up your life.

I'm just saying.