You'd think someone who has written html code since 1992 would have at least one freaking idea as to why a blogger template isn't working. $&*@(!!!
ETA: Okay, I've done what you're supposed to do when something doesn't work: go out and buy a replacement. Well, less "buy" than "use free of charge." I think this officially means that I can no longer consider myself a geek. If you can't code your own template, you are no longer entitled to wear t-shirts with hip and ironic code jokes. Also, you are no longer permitted to read slashdot. Or fark. Or any of the internets.