Today my boss told me to be careful when I'm speaking to clients because some of them are extremely religious. I asked him what he meant, since I thought I was doing a remarkably good job at ignoring the bigotry that sometimes goes on around me. He said, "Well, the other day in the meeting, L. said something, and you muttered that she was being a totalitarian." He didn't explain, of course, the connection he thought I was making between totalitarianism, religion, and handicapped access to our museum, which was the topic on the table at the time. Anyway, I think if he's going to accuse me of something, he needs to get it right. What I said was, "Ah. Jeremy Bentham's formulation of utilitarianism, the greatest good for the greatest number of people," an assessment that was not only inoffensive, but perfectly appropriate for the conversation. If only my boss knew who Bentham was, that is.

And speaking of formulations, how many different ways can I say that I'm tired? I've run out of synonyms. I wish I never had to get out of bed. Ever.